Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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