So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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