next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
