I hate your face
thus making me awesome and them whores
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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