I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize