i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
