can we get nightvision for the apartment?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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