I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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