If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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