She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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