Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
