it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize