That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
