She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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