you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
