Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
