You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
