You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
