I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
