Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
