just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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