Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
did you just send me my own nude
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
