home. puking in laundry basket.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
