i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
then he tried to convert me to islam
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
