i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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