Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
