i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize