i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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