i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
