My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
