dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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