You just made me feel so damn special
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
