May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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