That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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