I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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