She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
