You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize