if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
