Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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