I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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