i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
