after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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