So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
