hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize