see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
