Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize