In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
