i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This baby is an asshole
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize