I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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