I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
