they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
