Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
