Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
