"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize