You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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