now i know why i became what i already was.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
