A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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