No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
