And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
