dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
