I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
