i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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