Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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