question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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