im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
